Blended Family Wedding Ceremony

Photographs by: Chi Photography

Often time when we think of a wedding, we think of two people becoming husband and wife. However, many times it is much more than that. When the bride and/or groom have children from a previous marriage, the wedding ceremony can symbolize the coming together and blending of a new family. The ceremony becomes a celebration and proclamation of this new family. It is very important to the bride and groom that their children play a part in their ceremony.

I have found that it is sometimes difficult for children to express their feelings about this new family they are now a part of and being included in the wedding festivities helps them feel that they are important. I have found children will accept a parent’s remarriage a lot easier when they feel included in some way in the wedding ceremony and are given a tangible symbol of being embraced by a new family; such as a locket, ring, or some other significant token of love.

Including children during the blended family wedding vows, it has a huge emotional impact to them. It makes them feel that they are included and involved. It makes them feel significant. For the bride and groom, blended family wedding vows makes each of them aware of the children's presence in the home and their responsibility toward them.

Children who have lost a parent, gone through a messy divorce, or who are unsure about the new life that they are now a part of, may be sensitive to the idea of a "replacement" mom or dad. It is important to focus on the positive aspects of the new relationship you will have with the child. Vows can include some or all of the following:

• Promise to love and support the child's mother or father (new spouse)
• Vow to love, support and guide the child in all their future accomplishments.
• Promise to provide and care and always be there for them.

Including the children in family wedding vows is a wonderful way to unite the two families. However, other creative ideas for blended families include:

• A special token of love or gift that represents the new family unit. Usual gifts include family rings, a medallion with the wedding date engraved on it, a pin, necklace, or bracelet.
• Include the children in a Unity Sand Ceremony. Each child chooses his or her own color of sand and creates a beautiful keepsake that symbolizes the blending of the new family which you can all display in your new home together.
• Ask children to light the unity candle in lieu of the bride and groom. This simple yet meaningful ceremony, symbolizing the two families becoming one.

You may also include them as part of the bridal party, serving as the flower girl, ring bearer, junior bridesmaid or groomsmen. Some couples may even ask their children to service as their maid of honor or bestman.

The Blended Family Wedding Ceremony is a very touching and meaningful way to share the joining of not just two people, but an entire family. Done carefully and with respect for the children involved, these types of vows can be very moving and memorable.