Writing Your Own Vows

Many couples today choose to personalize their ceremony by writing their own vows or at least modifying the familiar time-honored phrases. Christina believes that couples should not only be able to express personal vows but that they should be encouraged to do so. They should think about why they are marrying each other, what they love about one another, and how they envision their marriage. Christina believes that for the couple, the exchange of vows is the most important moment in the ceremony.They are the heart and soul of your ceremony. The true meaning of the whole celebration is in the few minutes when you commit yourselves to each other thru your vows. Your wedding vows should be simple, romantic and filled with personal touches from your relationship.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Think about the overall tone you want to convey. Your vows can be serious, romantic or lighthearted and even funny! Once you've made this decision, you'll be able to write vows that fit into that mood. Start by putting pen to paper and ask yourself these questions:

• What is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry?
• When did you know that you were in love/ know that this person was the one you wanted to marry?
• What does marriage mean to you?
• What is the most important thing you want to promise to your partner? What is the promise you
  most want to hear from them? (For example, it might be really important to you to promise that you will always respect them. Or you might really want them to promise to always be faithful)
• What is your most favorite memory of your partner? (it can be something funny or serious)
• When you were little, did you dream of your wedding day or your future spouse? How does that memory match up (or not) with your sweetheart?

2.  Take some time to read through sample wedding vows that you may find on the internet as well as passages from poetry, love stories, scripture, and famous writing about love. Print out your favorites, and highlight passages that especially speak to you.

3.  Now start pulling it all together. Go back over the words you wrote before, and highlight the parts that you may want to include in your vows. Start choosing the very best parts. Add a sentence or two from the answers to the questions and finish with a vow - a sentence that begins with "I vow, or I promise. For an example you may say: 

"John, you are the most loving and generous man I know. I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you with your daughter, treating her with such love and  respect. I feel so blessed that you have chosen to share your love with me, and that I get to grow old next to you. John, today I choose you for my husband. I promise to love you, honor you, care for you, and be faithful to you, from this day forward and for therest of our lives."  This is just an example.

4.  Practice, Practice, Practice - First, try reading what you've written out loud to a trusted friend or family member. Ideally, this person will be who knows your relationship. They may have good suggestions for you, or the simple act of reading it out loud might help you identify places where you can improve. Once you've worked out a final version, practice reading it on your own to make sure you are comfortable with it. I don't recommend you try memorizing it but write it down a piece of paper that you can take out on your wedding day to read.