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Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

November 14, 2013

Writing your own wedding vows is the perfect way to personalize your wedding and express to your guests exactly what you love about the person you are about to marry. Your vows should be short and sweet, but convey what makes your relationship special and what you and your partner will hold sacred for the rest of your lives. If you want to know how to make this task as easy as saying "I do," then follow these guidelines.

What Makes a Good Wedding Vow?

Keep in mind that at the heart of every wedding vow is the idea that you're making a lasting impression. Your vows should have three components:

  • Declaration of Love - “John, my love, my heart is overflowing with love for you”
  • Promises for your Marriage – “ I promise to be faithful and true to you”
  • Personal touches – “Until I met you, I never thought I would find love again”

Before you both begin writing, decide on the tone you want to set. Your words may be different, but the style should be more or less the same. A practical note: Keep wedding vows one to three minutes long.

What Should You Say?

  • What is most important to you. Perhaps it's fidelity ("I promise to be faithful to you"); or the importance of family ("I promise to create a family with you and to take your children as my own").
  • Revisit certain "places" in your mind: how and where you first met, the first time he kissed you…
  • You can even be humorous about the needs or requirements you plan to fulfill throughout your lives together. For example, you can promise to sit and watch their favorite T.V. show no matter what.

Consult your Officiate

Your officiate is an excellent resource for ideas and inspiration and can guide you through the wedding vow-writing process by giving you suggestions and examples from recent clients. If you're having a religious ceremony, they can help you write wedding vows that speaks to your faith's ideals and symbols.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Before the big day, practice saying your words, but don't overdo it—speak naturally. If you need to read your wedding vows from a note card at the ceremony, have someone hand the card to you and take it back when you're done. It perfectly natural and okay to become emotional when saying these heartfelt words so let the tears fall - they are tears of joy!


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